An Attitude of Gratitude: A Leadership Reset
In the next few weeks, many of us will sit around a table, eat too much food, watch too much football, and do our best to avoid talking about politics with friends and family. And let’s be honest — that’s harder this year, as it feels like the world is heavier than usual.
Maybe that’s why the pause of Thanksgiving matters even more right now.
In a season where everything feels loud, fast, and uncertain, this holiday gives us one simple invitation: slow down and notice what’s still good.
The first Thanksgiving in 1621 wasn’t a celebration because life was good — it was a moment of relief after hardship. The Pilgrims had survived a brutal year, and the Wampanoag people helped make that survival possible.
That harvest meal was simply a pause to acknowledge, “We made it through this,” and to give thanks for community, support, and the little they had. It was gratitude in the middle of difficulty, not after it.
And that feels especially relevant today.
We can't control what’s happening in the world, our industry, or even our own practices sometimes — but we can control how we respond. Practicing gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to regain perspective during hard times.
Focusing on the Wrong Things
I like to think of myself as a grateful person. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s experience, or maybe it’s the bumps and bruises that teach you to slow down and notice the good.
These days, I’m pretty good at stopping to enjoy things — the blazing red and yellow leaves on my walk, a great conversation with a leader, seeing a cute puppy for a first exam, or a small moment of connection with someone I care about.
But in my early years?
Not so much.
In my first decade of adulting and practice ownership, gratitude wasn’t part of my vocabulary. I was overly focused on what was wrong — what frustrated me, what needed fixing, what could be improved.
Part of that came from my perfectionism. I wanted everything just right, and anything short of that felt like failure. But a lot of it came from emotion: frustration, fear, or wanting something to be different than what it was.
I took it home with me, carried it into dinners and weekends, and let it chew at me long after the workday ended. That negativity became a habit — and a terrible one. It didn’t make me a better leader. It made me more anxious, more reactive, and more disconnected from my team.
I still remember one day when my business partner (and then-husband) was venting about the team. As he talked, I mentally stepped outside the conversation and suddenly saw the behavior for what it was: unproductive, exhausting, and draining every ounce of joy we had left.
The truth hit hard.
I liked my team. They were smart, capable, and doing their best. Yet my constant focus on the problems meant their strengths barely had room to shine.
Something had to change.
And that something was my perspective.
When I intentionally shifted toward gratitude — noticing what my team did well, appreciating small wins, and giving space for the good — the negatives didn’t disappear, but they shrank.
They stopped dominating my mental landscape. I felt lighter. Happier. More grounded. And my team was suddenly more capable and successful. Had they changed? Nope, but I had.
Gratitude didn’t fix everything. But it changed how I experienced it.
Why We Rush Past the Good Stuff
When I work with leaders, I ask them to start by sharing what’s great — what they did well, what successes they’ve had, and what bright spots showed up in their week. Then we celebrate it together.
It’s intentional. I’m teaching them to pause before jumping straight to the negative, to reflect on wins, and to actually experience joy and gratitude as a practice.
Why? Because left to our own devices, it’s easy to lead with what went wrong. We underplay the good. We rush right past the moments worth savoring. And if we don't slow down to capture them, nobody is going to do it for us.
In a profession where burnout comes easily — especially for practice owners and doctors — practicing gratitude isn’t optional. It matters for balance and your mental well-being.
It protects your energy, anchors your perspective, and reminds you that great things happen and meaning still exists even on hard days.
The Neuroscience of Gratitude
Did you know that you can’t be grateful and frustrated at the same time? There’s real neuroscience behind that.
When you practice gratitude, you activate the prefrontal cortex — the part of your brain that helps you regulate emotions, think clearly, and gain perspective.
At the same time, you turn down activity in the amygdala, which fuels stress, frustration, and the feeling that everything is urgent.
These two systems can’t dominate simultaneously.
When gratitude is active, frustration gets pushed aside.
And here’s the best part: The more you practice gratitude, the more your brain rewires itself to return to that calmer, clearer place. Neuroplasticity means you are literally shaping your brain every day.
Gratitude isn’t just a feeling.
It’s a mental training tool.
“Joy doesn’t make us grateful; gratitude makes us joyful.”
That quote is from Brené Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection, which I’ve read at least three times now and often gift it to others — especially anyone who struggles with perfectionism, allowing joy in, or giving themselves grace.
Brené says it perfectly: “Gratitude is not an attitude. It’s a practice.”
Her research shows:
People who consistently practice gratitude are more resilient — they bounce back faster.
Ordinary moments matter more than big ones when you slow down enough to notice them.
Gratitude doesn’t erase fear or uncertainty — it reminds us there is still good.
Practicing gratitude strengthens connection, compassion, and presence — with yourself and others.
This is why gratitude is such a powerful leadership tool. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine — it’s about giving yourself a steadier place to stand when things are hard.
Conclusion: Your Story Matters Too
Gratitude isn’t about pretending things are perfect. It’s about choosing to notice what’s good — especially when life feels heavy or uncertain.
It’s a perspective shift that steadies you, softens the edges, and brings you back to what matters.
If you’ve ever wrestled with burnout, frustration, or the pressure to hold everything together, gratitude offers a different way forward. One small moment at a time.
And I’d love to hear what that looks like for you.
What’s your gratitude story? What’s your gratitude practice?
Share it in the comments — you never know who your story might encourage.
A 2-Week Gratitude Challenge
For the next two weeks, I’m committing to a simple, structured gratitude practice — and I’d love for you to join me. I’m also giving away five copies of The Gifts of Imperfection to celebrate the people who follow through. Here’s the full challenge:
Find something you’re grateful for
For the next 14 days, pause three times a day — morning, mid-day, and evening — practice gratitude in real time. It can be for big things or something very small and simple. Mix it up and stay present.
Tell Someone
Say what you’re grateful for to a friend, partner, coworker, or your team, because speaking it out loud reinforces the moment and strengthens connection.
Write it Down
Make a quick note in a journal or your phone, because writing helps your brain register the moment and track your progress.
Join Me + Share Your Wins
If you’re joining the challenge, comment #RealityVetGratitudeChallenge so I know you’re participating.
Then, after your two weeks, and between December 1st – 12th, share one thing you learned or experienced from practicing gratitude three times a day.
Everyone who completes the challenge and reports back will be entered into a drawing for Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection (digital, audio, or hardback).
Let’s see what two intentional weeks of gratitude can do — for your clarity, your leadership, and your joy, and I hope you have a wonderful, gratitude-filled Thanksgiving holiday.
